been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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