I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
