I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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