My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
