Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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