Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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