He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
