The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i think my cat just said my name.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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