covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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