boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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