I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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