i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
