Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
