My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
