I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
