I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just cropdusted the office
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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