my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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