Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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