it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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