dude i'm inner monologue high
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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