Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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