are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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