the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Randomize
