well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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