I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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