I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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