Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
