I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
