Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
