Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
