I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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