My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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