jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
3 2 1 whiskey
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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