I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
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She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars