it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
