Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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