you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
