never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My balls are so social today.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
