Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
