You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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