I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
