I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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