so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
