So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
