You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
