i jhust puked up my retainher.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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