It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
