I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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