sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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