We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
