Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
