Cold hands, warm shart.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
