So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
