i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize