end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
