What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
