I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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