they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
