I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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