You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you will always have a special place in my vag
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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