Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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