Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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