had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize