They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
