After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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