youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
