Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
