Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
