Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
