Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize