she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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