It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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