Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
