The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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