At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
