Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
