Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
