I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
